Some people are squirrel-handed.

Spring break! Tomorrow I'm heading back to the exciting state of connecticut, where we apparently talk funny. I was going to go into detail about how I miss my ducks and my electric blanket and driving around (oh man driving), but then I remembered I've been home more times that I can count already, including last weekend, when I went to the most underwhelming orthodontist appointment, ever. I noticed I've been using all sorts of variations of the word "whelmed" lately. Is whelmed even a real word?

whelm (hwělm, wělm) Pronunciation Key
tr.v. whelmed, whelm·ing, whelms

1. To cover with water; submerge.

So next time I'm underwhelmed, I'm going to say, "I'm not completely submerged in water!" Hahaha. I'm just too clever, aren't I?

E adesso mi sembra un'ottima opportunità per cercare di usare gli insulti che ho imparato. Conosco a qualcuno chi è un gran puttaniere. Veramente! Voglio menarlo, che sfigato! Che sciupafemmine! Figlio di puttana! Sgarbato, falso, egoista, stupido, scortese, antipatico, cattivo ceffo! Esci dalla mia testa, minchiuni! Madone de mia! See, I managed to incorporate a couple of sicilian insults too. My family would be so proud. Well to summarize this paragraph, take that, ya friggin' jerk. I'll punch you in the face! You know, I just realized I rarely say anything that makes sense.

Okay, so now that that's out of the way, let's talk about Little Rascals. If you haven't seen it, you should probably do that right now, because it's the best. You should also probably watch all of the old episodes from the original series. Seriously, you can't go wrong with adorable children creating all kinds of mischief. It's especially entertaining when you have no idea what they're saying. Petey, I'ma shoot that fly...just you wait! And while we're talking about adorable things, honorable mentions go to the dog that called 911, and the new superhero, Hangerman.

A few years ago a friend got me the "Mr. Right When You Need Him" doll. If you're not familiar with him, he's handsome and cuddly, and he comes with an owner's manual that tells you over and over how awesome he is. Best of all, of course, when you squeeze him, he'll say various things like, "It's not your fault...it's mine." (Damn right it is!) and "You look thin. Have you lost weight?" (As a matter of fact, I have!) I know, it sounds cool enough as it is, but I took him out of the box the other night for a little cheerin' up...and we discovered that Mr. Right's batteries were dying. Oh, the tragedy! He's dying! Each time we squeeze him his voice gets a little more staticky-sounding ("Caaanahhhtaaakeyoooo... shhhhhoe shhhhhhhhopping?") and now he sounds downright demonic. So now I have this demonic little doll of a man in a suit. Voodoo?! Is it voodoo?! VOODOO!!

I really hope spring break means it will get warmer out. I'm tired of my hair freezing when I leave in the morning. But either way, there is much to be excited about in the next few weeks. We will discuss this at a later point, because it's about time I hit the "publish" button. Or else Monica might kick me out.